Monday, June 20, 2011
fourteenth day, upon awaking
I didn't sleep very much last night, but for once I feel pretty rested upon awaking. Due to unexpectedly increased demand, I've switched over to a new work project for a while, one I didn't mention in the initial post about them, and by the end of yesterday was working very excitedly on it.
Friday, June 17, 2011
dog adventures of the eleventh day
Spent all day yesterday pretty tiered, and that was before the dog got loose.
I returned home from work on campus , and the dog was naturally very excited to see me after being shut in for five hours or so. With severe thunderstorms predicted on the way, I decided we'd go out for a walk right away. In the haste to satisfy the poor, put-upon canine, I didn't get her attached tho the leash before we stepped out the door.
She took off right away across the street, into a neighbor's deep yard (the neighborhood across the street C—'s house faces on is decidedly upscale in architecture and land use). I quite lost track of her, getting separated by a strip of trees and underbrush, and, as I found out, by the fence around the property. Once I realized she was surrounded on several sides by fence, I was able to chase her around, kind of cornered, till the neighbor herself emerged to see what was up.
A new human and candidate friend to go meet instantly shot to the top of the dog's priorities, so instead of running from me, suddenly she was running toward the neighbor on the latter's back porch. I found myself terrifically grateful for the help and understanding of the neighbor, who both commiserated regarding the challenges of containing beagles (her own beagle could be seen watching us through the window) and knew C— and her dog and all about why I was there caring for the same.
After getting the leash back on the dog, we continued the walk through the neighborhood across the street, where we actually did a bit of proper squirrel-chasing. Chasing small game is pretty well this beagle's reason for existence, but I've felt it best not done on other people's lawns, which constitute all the land in the places we usually go walking. In the neighborhood across the street, though, are a few islands of open space with no houses in them in the middle of intersections, even large enough to support a few trees. On such ground I hardly minded trying my hardest to keep up as she hauled me along on the fully-extended leash, pursuing her life's work.
The severe storms never did show up. A short walk was undertaken after dark, too, just for good measure, and under much better control. At that time I made use of a little LED headlamp I won at auction at a church event last week. I think I may leave the lamp here for C— when she returns; having the hand free that would otherwise hang on to a flashlight was confirmed quite convenient. She'd probably get very good use out of it.
I returned home from work on campus , and the dog was naturally very excited to see me after being shut in for five hours or so. With severe thunderstorms predicted on the way, I decided we'd go out for a walk right away. In the haste to satisfy the poor, put-upon canine, I didn't get her attached tho the leash before we stepped out the door.
She took off right away across the street, into a neighbor's deep yard (the neighborhood across the street C—'s house faces on is decidedly upscale in architecture and land use). I quite lost track of her, getting separated by a strip of trees and underbrush, and, as I found out, by the fence around the property. Once I realized she was surrounded on several sides by fence, I was able to chase her around, kind of cornered, till the neighbor herself emerged to see what was up.
A new human and candidate friend to go meet instantly shot to the top of the dog's priorities, so instead of running from me, suddenly she was running toward the neighbor on the latter's back porch. I found myself terrifically grateful for the help and understanding of the neighbor, who both commiserated regarding the challenges of containing beagles (her own beagle could be seen watching us through the window) and knew C— and her dog and all about why I was there caring for the same.
After getting the leash back on the dog, we continued the walk through the neighborhood across the street, where we actually did a bit of proper squirrel-chasing. Chasing small game is pretty well this beagle's reason for existence, but I've felt it best not done on other people's lawns, which constitute all the land in the places we usually go walking. In the neighborhood across the street, though, are a few islands of open space with no houses in them in the middle of intersections, even large enough to support a few trees. On such ground I hardly minded trying my hardest to keep up as she hauled me along on the fully-extended leash, pursuing her life's work.
The severe storms never did show up. A short walk was undertaken after dark, too, just for good measure, and under much better control. At that time I made use of a little LED headlamp I won at auction at a church event last week. I think I may leave the lamp here for C— when she returns; having the hand free that would otherwise hang on to a flashlight was confirmed quite convenient. She'd probably get very good use out of it.
eleventh night, dreamage
Dreamt about Google-mapping parks in London to find out what to do together with someone from church (someone a generation older than me; by the time of writing this I've figured out who). We zeroed in on one specifically, only to find out it was going to suck.
Another dream was about some kind of performance-art or museum space where I was finding out about a short poem in Norwegian and its translation to English. My old college roommate might have been in that one.
Another dream was about some kind of performance-art or museum space where I was finding out about a short poem in Norwegian and its translation to English. My old college roommate might have been in that one.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tenth day, evening
I've made a scheduled, routine activity out of each of several things since I've been here: prayer; dog walking and feeding; academic work, at least for as long as I could. I have not put blogging on a schedule, and I've lapsed in doing it at all for a while now. What didn't help was the complete expiration of my old faithful laptop, eyegor.
Nearly all day Saturday and Sunday, I plugged away at data manipulation for the project arising from the conference paper. The paper is in a line of studies using a survey data set available online. Previous authors had a working version that reduced the immense data set's size to only those respondents and variables treated in the series of studies. I want to introduce a variable they never had, which meant constructing the working data set all over again from the original, since a unique case identifier wasn't one of the variables retained in the working version. Picking out which rows had been used, though, was itself a bit of a challenge; the language about case selection in the original paper was only mostly right, or, rather, not fully specific. The upshot was that just pulling that off took me till Sunday afternoon.
It was as if eyegor were holding out for me to get that chunk of work finished and saved. Not long after, eyegor lost power unexpectedly. It could not be turned back on. The power system had worn out. While I figured some possibility existed of opening up the beaten, separating case and looking for anything fixable in the power system, the likelihood of success didn't seem to justify the effort needed. A moment I'd been actively hoping for months and months to put off for months and months had arrived: I was without a working laptop.
Pretty quickly, I shifted gears. My whole life was now directed toward getting a new laptop on which I could continue my work. I had known for a long time what I would shop for would be very different from my last computer: not a desktop replacement like eyegor; rather, a very lightweight, inexpensive machine from which remotely to log in to my office server, frankenstein, and do my serious computing there. Not only do I have a proper desktop everywhere I really want to use one for crunching numbers, watching video, or, eventually, gaming again, I really haven't got the money for a new laptop at all, so I'd better be going pretty cheap if I'm stuck buying one. Using C—'s own computer, so helpfully left behind, I went online to price the least expensive netbooks I could find as early as Sunday night. Monday morning I went out and bought one.
I ought to have been back up and running right away then, but, in fact, I spent a good two days fixing and backing up things to get the new laptop in the shape in which I want to use it. Much of that down time was spent pestering various friends to figure out who had an external hard drive I could use. Some, specifically all yesterday afternoon, was spent in the kitchen, preparing from scratch some pierogi and golabki that, in the end, went grossly pear-shaped.
Now, however, it's Wednesday night, and I've watched the last NHL game of the year, and the netbook is up and running for real. This, then, is your opportunity to say hi to inga. Tomorrow afternoon, Inga and I will return to work on the conference paper (from campus, since I'll be on duty in the computer lab in the early afternoon). Tomorrow morning, I may take myself to the municipal Theater Guild just down the street, to meet and talk to anyone there if it happens to be open. It's been far too long since I've been on the stage, you see -- more than four whole years -- and their suburban group seem to me the people to know for getting back onto it.
Last, I'll also write a blog entry tomorrow, at 9:00 in the morning. I don't know what I shall have to write about except perhaps a stray thought or two on realignment of Major League Baseball.
Nearly all day Saturday and Sunday, I plugged away at data manipulation for the project arising from the conference paper. The paper is in a line of studies using a survey data set available online. Previous authors had a working version that reduced the immense data set's size to only those respondents and variables treated in the series of studies. I want to introduce a variable they never had, which meant constructing the working data set all over again from the original, since a unique case identifier wasn't one of the variables retained in the working version. Picking out which rows had been used, though, was itself a bit of a challenge; the language about case selection in the original paper was only mostly right, or, rather, not fully specific. The upshot was that just pulling that off took me till Sunday afternoon.
It was as if eyegor were holding out for me to get that chunk of work finished and saved. Not long after, eyegor lost power unexpectedly. It could not be turned back on. The power system had worn out. While I figured some possibility existed of opening up the beaten, separating case and looking for anything fixable in the power system, the likelihood of success didn't seem to justify the effort needed. A moment I'd been actively hoping for months and months to put off for months and months had arrived: I was without a working laptop.
Pretty quickly, I shifted gears. My whole life was now directed toward getting a new laptop on which I could continue my work. I had known for a long time what I would shop for would be very different from my last computer: not a desktop replacement like eyegor; rather, a very lightweight, inexpensive machine from which remotely to log in to my office server, frankenstein, and do my serious computing there. Not only do I have a proper desktop everywhere I really want to use one for crunching numbers, watching video, or, eventually, gaming again, I really haven't got the money for a new laptop at all, so I'd better be going pretty cheap if I'm stuck buying one. Using C—'s own computer, so helpfully left behind, I went online to price the least expensive netbooks I could find as early as Sunday night. Monday morning I went out and bought one.
I ought to have been back up and running right away then, but, in fact, I spent a good two days fixing and backing up things to get the new laptop in the shape in which I want to use it. Much of that down time was spent pestering various friends to figure out who had an external hard drive I could use. Some, specifically all yesterday afternoon, was spent in the kitchen, preparing from scratch some pierogi and golabki that, in the end, went grossly pear-shaped.
Now, however, it's Wednesday night, and I've watched the last NHL game of the year, and the netbook is up and running for real. This, then, is your opportunity to say hi to inga. Tomorrow afternoon, Inga and I will return to work on the conference paper (from campus, since I'll be on duty in the computer lab in the early afternoon). Tomorrow morning, I may take myself to the municipal Theater Guild just down the street, to meet and talk to anyone there if it happens to be open. It's been far too long since I've been on the stage, you see -- more than four whole years -- and their suburban group seem to me the people to know for getting back onto it.
Last, I'll also write a blog entry tomorrow, at 9:00 in the morning. I don't know what I shall have to write about except perhaps a stray thought or two on realignment of Major League Baseball.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
sixth day, evening
Today I set out to do another large chunk of work on the data set for my conference paper, but ended up with nothing to show for the whole day.
There's a working version of the data set I'm studying that has been handed down by previous authors, and an original data set published by the Federal government. Today what I set out to do was get a couple columns from the original and add them to the working version, just to give me some more independent variables. Sadly, there are no columns in the working version that uniquely identify rows and take the same values in the original — none at all. A straightforward merge operation is out of the question, and it took me all day to establish that, or at least enough of the day that my will to start anything else was broken by the time I got done.
Tomorrow afternoon I'll be looking over every column in the working version, figuring out whether I need it for the study being done, then either finding the corresponding column of the original and copying it into my own working subset or doing the appropriate transformation of one I've already got out of the original to produce the desired values. Can I follow the directions well enough to faithfully reproduce the data set the previous authors had? We shall see.
Tomorrow I'll be back at church for the first time in three weeks, having been on the road the past two Sundays.
Naia's been less cooperative yesterday and today than the previous few. I admit I've been out at what may seem like some weird times to her, but I've tried to be back quickly. Today I was gone twice, hitting up a yard sale in the morning after bringing her back from her walk, and later getting dinner from a local pizza place that I've missed since its location in my own neighborhood closed a year or two ago.
There's a working version of the data set I'm studying that has been handed down by previous authors, and an original data set published by the Federal government. Today what I set out to do was get a couple columns from the original and add them to the working version, just to give me some more independent variables. Sadly, there are no columns in the working version that uniquely identify rows and take the same values in the original — none at all. A straightforward merge operation is out of the question, and it took me all day to establish that, or at least enough of the day that my will to start anything else was broken by the time I got done.
Tomorrow afternoon I'll be looking over every column in the working version, figuring out whether I need it for the study being done, then either finding the corresponding column of the original and copying it into my own working subset or doing the appropriate transformation of one I've already got out of the original to produce the desired values. Can I follow the directions well enough to faithfully reproduce the data set the previous authors had? We shall see.
Tomorrow I'll be back at church for the first time in three weeks, having been on the road the past two Sundays.
Naia's been less cooperative yesterday and today than the previous few. I admit I've been out at what may seem like some weird times to her, but I've tried to be back quickly. Today I was gone twice, hitting up a yard sale in the morning after bringing her back from her walk, and later getting dinner from a local pizza place that I've missed since its location in my own neighborhood closed a year or two ago.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
fourth day, evening: addenda
Bonnie has been much more vocal here in the suburbs than I've ever known her to be. Back at home (a term I use comfortably loosely), Finch is a talker and Bonnie pretty silent. I don't know if it's the influence of the dog or what, but she's meowed at me much more often since we moved in here.
There's a special event going on tomorrow evening at the Episcopal church down the street; it's drawing folks from the Cathedral and several other places in the diocese. I've been reluctant to go out in the evenings and leave the dog behind any more than really necessary, but for this church gathering that's so close by I'll certainly make an exception. I remember having a good time at the same event last year, at a time when I was hardly predisposed to. I look forward to this year's.
There's a special event going on tomorrow evening at the Episcopal church down the street; it's drawing folks from the Cathedral and several other places in the diocese. I've been reluctant to go out in the evenings and leave the dog behind any more than really necessary, but for this church gathering that's so close by I'll certainly make an exception. I remember having a good time at the same event last year, at a time when I was hardly predisposed to. I look forward to this year's.
fourth day, evening
I'm settling in to a rhythm for Naia's trips out of doors as well, about once every hour and a half including two proper walks through the neighborhood. The goal of teaching myself more routine is getting a little better achieved again and again. I'm having more trouble getting Naia to go #2 on her evening walks than in the morning, which always worries me just a tad.
Today I got round to adding the easier part of the new variables to the models in the conference paper, and took the first steps toward joining the harder part as well. While I was at it, I snuck some parallelism into the old code I've been recycling; now I get my 60 models at a time in 40 minutes as opposed to two hours. There's a big econometrics conference going on on campus, and it was supposed to demand a great deal of us the computer lab consultants, but it fizzled out in that regard — I had one phone call about it all day.
I've been cooking reasonably well — today some simple chicken lo mein. As in my computing work, I've been trying to implement parallel processing everywhere I can in the kitchen. This has meant, for instance, two teakettles and a big saucepan all going at once, each heating up a small amount of water to boil noodles in once ready. Hey, might as well add heat energy to the water at triple speed. This has meant separate frying pans with chicken and vegetables stir-frying in them independently, which was really useful given a lack of one skillet or wok big enough to handle all the ingredients together.
Man, having a dishwasher really is all it's cracked up to be.
Tomorrow I'll bake some bread, since I'm about out of it, and I'll do what more of this side project I can accomplish.
Early in the day, after Naia's walk, I took another trip to the bagel shop; I've indulged in a whole dozen of them. I don't usually keep them on hand, and then end up buying them individually when I am out late in the morning and don't have time for a bowl of cereal or don't feel like it. All this is in the name of being more deliberate, more directed.
Today I got round to adding the easier part of the new variables to the models in the conference paper, and took the first steps toward joining the harder part as well. While I was at it, I snuck some parallelism into the old code I've been recycling; now I get my 60 models at a time in 40 minutes as opposed to two hours. There's a big econometrics conference going on on campus, and it was supposed to demand a great deal of us the computer lab consultants, but it fizzled out in that regard — I had one phone call about it all day.
I've been cooking reasonably well — today some simple chicken lo mein. As in my computing work, I've been trying to implement parallel processing everywhere I can in the kitchen. This has meant, for instance, two teakettles and a big saucepan all going at once, each heating up a small amount of water to boil noodles in once ready. Hey, might as well add heat energy to the water at triple speed. This has meant separate frying pans with chicken and vegetables stir-frying in them independently, which was really useful given a lack of one skillet or wok big enough to handle all the ingredients together.
Man, having a dishwasher really is all it's cracked up to be.
Tomorrow I'll bake some bread, since I'm about out of it, and I'll do what more of this side project I can accomplish.
fourth day, morning
The morning routine I had done in two hours a couple days ago I've cut somewhere between fifteen and sixty minutes off already. The neighbor's kid who shows up to take the dog out during C—'s work hours has worked out some new times with me — I appear to be bringing him in earlier in the afternoon Tuesday and Thursday and later, while I'm away at aikido, Monday and Wednesday. That will work terrifically.
The cats, meanwhile, have been treated to a couple new toys and a new filtered water fountain. Their old one was apparently discontinued, and I can't find replacement filters for it anywhere.
Some code is getting executed to get new results for the extension of my conference paper. This code represents the easy part, but at least it's something. Harder will be when I have to incorporate a new variable or six not included in the data set as formatted by earlier authors; this working version of the data also doesn't include the unique identifier from the original published version, so a simple join operation is out.
The cats, meanwhile, have been treated to a couple new toys and a new filtered water fountain. Their old one was apparently discontinued, and I can't find replacement filters for it anywhere.
Some code is getting executed to get new results for the extension of my conference paper. This code represents the easy part, but at least it's something. Harder will be when I have to incorporate a new variable or six not included in the data set as formatted by earlier authors; this working version of the data also doesn't include the unique identifier from the original published version, so a simple join operation is out.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
C—'s home
C— is a generation older than I am, and has a research job at the same university where I'm a grad student. Her home is an adorable cottage in a beautiful, treeful, and old suburb with every building different from the next one over. If we're going to have suburbs at all, I'd like them to be more like this old place.
The home is pleasantly appointed and, for a place with a dog, kept terrifically clean. One feature of note is glass doors (with white wooden frames) between many of the rooms; I think they must have attracted C— in particular, who seems to enjoy glass decor and utensils quite a bit. She's got many glass dishes for eating from and so forth.
I'm slowly getting used to where everything is in the kitchen, where I have the greatest need of using the tools she's provided. One great idea that I can use when I leave here has already impressed itself on me in that space: from now on the counters are to be tiled with used paper grocery bags from Trader Joe's when not in use. This will be a much easier way of keeping them clean than actually teaching the cats not to get up and walk on them in the first place! This would never have occurred to me at my own apartment, but the change of space and the need to take care of a home I've been entrusted with by another helped.
I'll have more to write some time soon on the idea of living more intentionally — with more <i>ki</i>, in the terms of the martial art I'm a student of. This afternoon, meanwhile, I'm going to dive back into the conference paper referred to below, getting back into familiarity with the data set.
The home is pleasantly appointed and, for a place with a dog, kept terrifically clean. One feature of note is glass doors (with white wooden frames) between many of the rooms; I think they must have attracted C— in particular, who seems to enjoy glass decor and utensils quite a bit. She's got many glass dishes for eating from and so forth.
I'm slowly getting used to where everything is in the kitchen, where I have the greatest need of using the tools she's provided. One great idea that I can use when I leave here has already impressed itself on me in that space: from now on the counters are to be tiled with used paper grocery bags from Trader Joe's when not in use. This will be a much easier way of keeping them clean than actually teaching the cats not to get up and walk on them in the first place! This would never have occurred to me at my own apartment, but the change of space and the need to take care of a home I've been entrusted with by another helped.
I'll have more to write some time soon on the idea of living more intentionally — with more <i>ki</i>, in the terms of the martial art I'm a student of. This afternoon, meanwhile, I'm going to dive back into the conference paper referred to below, getting back into familiarity with the data set.
Third day, morning
How does anyone get along with a dog in the house, who uses up so much attention so much of the time? An older dog would sleep a great deal, but Naia, just older than a puppy, leaves me quite afraid I'll upset or hurt her just by having my mind on anything else for too long. After being away at work yesterday for four hours, and later at aikido for almost two, she all but burst with excitement when I returned home. That's less than a whole work day that I've been gone.
I didn't sleep terrifically, with Naia making various noises in pursuit of some kind of attention and later one or both of the cats repeatedly invading the bed — here at C—'s place the pets are not allowed on much of the furniture, including the beds.
I did a little flute practice this morning, for the first time in months and months. I will keep doing so the first time I let the dog out of the house into the back yard in the morning; none of the pets like the sound, but the kitties can get away into quiet spots downstairs, while the dog hasn't much of anywhere to go.
I didn't sleep terrifically, with Naia making various noises in pursuit of some kind of attention and later one or both of the cats repeatedly invading the bed — here at C—'s place the pets are not allowed on much of the furniture, including the beds.
I did a little flute practice this morning, for the first time in months and months. I will keep doing so the first time I let the dog out of the house into the back yard in the morning; none of the pets like the sound, but the kitties can get away into quiet spots downstairs, while the dog hasn't much of anywhere to go.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Upcoming work
I hardly did a great job with purposefulness at today's work hours. In a three-hour shift, all I actually got done was walking one fellow student through uploading his personal Web page to the department server. Other than that, my time was largely wasted. This is exactly the kind of thing I'm working on improving about myself.
In truth, there is a great deal of real work that I could stand to get done. The work projects I must prioritize include:
My macaroni and cheese is nearly done baking upstairs. Time to cut up a salad to eat with it and dig in.
In truth, there is a great deal of real work that I could stand to get done. The work projects I must prioritize include:
- Social science research.
- My dissertation in evolutionary game theory. Work on this, at least for the moment, still mostly consists of writing to one member of my prospectus committee and trying to get his attention to some additional material I sent him as long ago as the middle of March. When I learn whether and how well that work addressed the concerns he had at my original prospectus defense, the whole committee and I can move forward toward a revised prospectus and defense date.
- My conference paper. I presented a conference paper in April, one that's got nothing to do with my main line of work, but that I really didn't find hard at all. I want to expand the work done in the conference version, which wasn't much more than a demo, according to the comments I received in presentation and other goals of my own for the research, and, having done so, to turn it around for my first individually-authored publication. That expansion of the work will consist in nothing but adding terms to the code running my models to include more columns of the data set, and perhaps rebuilding the data set if the version I got from previous authors in this line of studies doesn't actually have all the variables I mean to use.
- Quiz bowl tournament organizing and writing. My school runs a large high school invitational tournament. Last year under two co-directors and co-editors, there were some complaints about quality; this year, I'm taking over directing and editing to keep any tasks from falling through the cracks. To get started on the questions right away, I'm going to have to do the following.
- Find three assistant editors, one each for literature, science, and history, and get them to start working with me. My history and science candidates are known, but I haven't contacted them; I don't have a good choice yet for literature. These will be people from my own quizbowl team who can commit to working a great deal, and doing so over the summer.
- Together with them, start compiling an answer document. The whole team will be involved in writing questions, but it's much easier for them to do so if some answers are picked out ahead of time.
- Contact some outside partners — other teams — to provide some supplementary questions. Those folks will get to run the same tournament in other locations for their assistance. Since they're outside normal editorial channels, though, I want to get started with them very early; last year, much of what we got from other schools was unusably badly written, and we got it too late to collaborate on editing it into shape.
My macaroni and cheese is nearly done baking upstairs. Time to cut up a salad to eat with it and dig in.
Skeleton of a schedule
This retreat time is to be divided, roughly, between time spent living my personal life deliberately and critically and time spent deliberately pursuing one or more of the professional or avocational projects I am called to complete — my work, so to speak.
Inasmuch as I've still got computer lab hours to attend on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1:00 to 4:00, I've decided that mornings will be set aside for the former and afternoons for the latter, broadly speaking. I don't have many specific choices made, but my goal is to get them made over the course of one week and have them in place for the next two.
Early mornings will continue to look like the one I spent today. The whole schedule of attendance to pets and of waking up between 7:00 and 9:00 worked very well. I don't wholly know yet what the rest of deliberately living my individual life will mean.
I'm going to write a separate post about the other main goal, the work projects I'm pursuing. I started writing it here, but I've already got too much to write to include it in this otherwise short post, or to finish before I've got to be off making lunch and traveling in to campus.
I mean not to come out of the house to do much besides church on Sundays. Maybe, maybe for some really special events I'll emerge, but I won't let my evenings get spent on the first thing I get suggested every night. I'll still be going to aikido classes, though, including tonight at 7:15 and tomorrow at 6:30, back in the city. (Without choir practice to attend in the summer, I might even go to the satellite dojo for their Thursday classes, although I haven't decided.)
I will pray at least three times daily: once on waking between 7:00 and 8:00, once just after lunch at noon, and once in the evening. If I can schedule it well, I'll set aside both an evening prayer time and a separate one for compline, presumably right before bed.
Inasmuch as I've still got computer lab hours to attend on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1:00 to 4:00, I've decided that mornings will be set aside for the former and afternoons for the latter, broadly speaking. I don't have many specific choices made, but my goal is to get them made over the course of one week and have them in place for the next two.
Early mornings will continue to look like the one I spent today. The whole schedule of attendance to pets and of waking up between 7:00 and 9:00 worked very well. I don't wholly know yet what the rest of deliberately living my individual life will mean.
I'm going to write a separate post about the other main goal, the work projects I'm pursuing. I started writing it here, but I've already got too much to write to include it in this otherwise short post, or to finish before I've got to be off making lunch and traveling in to campus.
I mean not to come out of the house to do much besides church on Sundays. Maybe, maybe for some really special events I'll emerge, but I won't let my evenings get spent on the first thing I get suggested every night. I'll still be going to aikido classes, though, including tonight at 7:15 and tomorrow at 6:30, back in the city. (Without choir practice to attend in the summer, I might even go to the satellite dojo for their Thursday classes, although I haven't decided.)
I will pray at least three times daily: once on waking between 7:00 and 8:00, once just after lunch at noon, and once in the evening. If I can schedule it well, I'll set aside both an evening prayer time and a separate one for compline, presumably right before bed.
Second day, morning
I awoke at 6:30 but didn't arise till as late as 7:00. That's still earlier than I've consistently managed, and should be how I operate for the rest of the month that sees me here. By 8:00 I'd fed the dog breakfast, showered, dressed, prayed, and made some tea for the morning.
The dog and I took a twenty-minute walk in the neighborhood to the north of the house. We were getting along nicely. I brought the dog back home and went into the center of town for a bagel, which I'd brought back and eaten by 9:00. The dog stayed in the yard during my breakfast.
When she came back in, she got hold of the paper bag my bagel was wrapped in, and took it into the living room to tear it up and eat it. I took it away in pieces as I could get them. Since then, she's been much more anxious. Either she just doesn't understand what happened to the bag of trash, or she thinks she's upset me somehow.
After I put the dishes away from the dishwasher I'm quite excited to use while here, it was a great deal of effort to convince and conduct her into the kitchen and sunroom, where she's allowed to stay while no one's home, in order to make my initial grocery run for the week. She also found a way to bust into the basement, where she isn't allowed at any time, for the second time in as many days.
I hope I'm treating her in ways she understands and accepts, but wonder if I'm confusing or upsetting her now and again just by not being familiar with the way things are done in this home.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Unto the Hills
Hi. I'm the Friar, a social sciences Ph.D. student in a Midwestern city. I'm on a small sort of retreat in the suburbs taking care of my good friend C--'s house and dog while she's away.
For as far back as I can clearly and continuously remember -- though that's not very far any more -- my life has been largely unexamined, largely undirected. I do what I'm told. When not told to do anything, I do whatever comes to mind first, unless it appears hard, in which case I start something else.
In the month of June, though, that won't work very well. No one will be around to tell me what I should do all that often. The obvious nearby places for me to go waste my time -- not working at my office, not working at the corner Starbucks, and so on -- will instead all be fifteen minutes away by car. The Internet will only be accessible from one inconvenient spot in the house where I'll have to kneel on the floor to use it, and there won't be any such thing as ESPN in here.
Over these three to four weeks, I'll be working to recenter, to demonstrate and teach to myself a renewed capacity for purposefulness that will be necessary for the home stretch of my doctoral work over the next two years. Perhaps I won't be here long enough to get very far, but I'll be at least a slightly better-working person when I emerge.
I'll also be working, but not very much, I don't think. I mean to get myself used to scheduling my activities -- caring for a dog will help me along with that -- and much of what I mean to schedule for this retreat period is not my proper work but setting myself up with the capability to both begin and finish those pieces of work with which I have had difficulty doing either of late.
I'll be stopping late in the evenings to do something else important. I'll be examining, recounting and reflecting on, my ongoing life. The examination may not be very deep, especially at first, but, like the rest of what I'm setting out to gain, even starting a pilot program of gains in examination-of-life will be of great value. Look for descriptions of what I've been up to each day and plans for the next day and the next week.
I'll be praying, regularly and frequently, perhaps as much as four times a day. Like everything else, when I start, it will be rudimentary. It will get better as it goes.
Of course, I'll also be watching over three furry friends, C--'s dog and my own two cats, who don't know or trust each other very well yet, keeping them out of trouble with themselves and one another. I'm sure they'll soak all my spare attention right up.
For as far back as I can clearly and continuously remember -- though that's not very far any more -- my life has been largely unexamined, largely undirected. I do what I'm told. When not told to do anything, I do whatever comes to mind first, unless it appears hard, in which case I start something else.
In the month of June, though, that won't work very well. No one will be around to tell me what I should do all that often. The obvious nearby places for me to go waste my time -- not working at my office, not working at the corner Starbucks, and so on -- will instead all be fifteen minutes away by car. The Internet will only be accessible from one inconvenient spot in the house where I'll have to kneel on the floor to use it, and there won't be any such thing as ESPN in here.
Over these three to four weeks, I'll be working to recenter, to demonstrate and teach to myself a renewed capacity for purposefulness that will be necessary for the home stretch of my doctoral work over the next two years. Perhaps I won't be here long enough to get very far, but I'll be at least a slightly better-working person when I emerge.
I'll also be working, but not very much, I don't think. I mean to get myself used to scheduling my activities -- caring for a dog will help me along with that -- and much of what I mean to schedule for this retreat period is not my proper work but setting myself up with the capability to both begin and finish those pieces of work with which I have had difficulty doing either of late.
I'll be stopping late in the evenings to do something else important. I'll be examining, recounting and reflecting on, my ongoing life. The examination may not be very deep, especially at first, but, like the rest of what I'm setting out to gain, even starting a pilot program of gains in examination-of-life will be of great value. Look for descriptions of what I've been up to each day and plans for the next day and the next week.
I'll be praying, regularly and frequently, perhaps as much as four times a day. Like everything else, when I start, it will be rudimentary. It will get better as it goes.
Of course, I'll also be watching over three furry friends, C--'s dog and my own two cats, who don't know or trust each other very well yet, keeping them out of trouble with themselves and one another. I'm sure they'll soak all my spare attention right up.
First day
I moved in to C--'s house in the suburbs late this morning. C-- sings at church with me; she's out of state on family business for three to four weeks, and wants her dog and home taken care of while gone. No one much needs my grad student apartment during June, so I am selected.
My two cats have come along; in fact, they moved in as long ago as Thursday, though I couldn't be here yet. By now Bonnie has learned how to stay totally out of the beagle puppy Naia's way by remaining in the basement, and Naia and Bonnie's brother Finch have at least wrapped their minds around each other's existence. There's an uneasy toleration. The three animals all want my attention whenever they can grab it -- the attention is getting spread a bit thin!
I've never lived with a dog for more than about four days, but C-- has left many helpful instructions. I've mostly gotten used to the instructions. With their help I've even been able to find a little time for settling in myself, washing all the clothes that I brought over dirty, making trips for stuff I forgot, and lunch out followed by exploration of the neighborhood with J-- J--, our fellow chorister who held the place between C--'s departure and my arrival.
My two cats have come along; in fact, they moved in as long ago as Thursday, though I couldn't be here yet. By now Bonnie has learned how to stay totally out of the beagle puppy Naia's way by remaining in the basement, and Naia and Bonnie's brother Finch have at least wrapped their minds around each other's existence. There's an uneasy toleration. The three animals all want my attention whenever they can grab it -- the attention is getting spread a bit thin!
I've never lived with a dog for more than about four days, but C-- has left many helpful instructions. I've mostly gotten used to the instructions. With their help I've even been able to find a little time for settling in myself, washing all the clothes that I brought over dirty, making trips for stuff I forgot, and lunch out followed by exploration of the neighborhood with J-- J--, our fellow chorister who held the place between C--'s departure and my arrival.
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